Me: “What’s your definition of fragile?”
Removal man: “If you drop it on the floor, it breaks.”
Brilliant. An answer so plain, I felt I’d asked a stupid question.
Obviously, in the world of house removals, it was a stupid question. This is a business where “deliver” really does mean “deliver”.
These days, do any other sectors use such straightforward language? It’s certainly much easier to think of examples of jargon and obscurity than of clarity.
Here’s a funny one we found in a client draft of a leaflet explaining proposed design changes to a mixed-use property development:
“Increase the permeability of pedestrian egress via the perimeter.”
If you think about it really hard, you might work out it means “put another gate in the fence”. And then you’ll think, why couldn’t they just say that?
Fortunately, we do get the occasional breath of plain-speaking fresh air…
No “solutions”. No “delivery”.
And this one’s even better. If you do something good, tell it like it is…
Staying with the sides of vans, we’ve also found there’s room for a little creativity. On the vehicle of an agricultural services company, we saw recently, “In more fields than you imagine”.
Encouraged by these rare shining stars in the dark sky of turgid business speak, we’re on a mission to find more examples. If you know of any, please leave a comment.
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